Top 10 Most Annoying Teen Fiction Trends, by Katie

1. If I read one more book where a character is “oh my god so diffrerent” because they dress in black-and-hot-pink outfits and thinks that nobody understands them because they listen to Panic at the Disco and are just sooo alternative, I will scream. This does not make you (insert sparkles here) TOTALLY UNIQUE. It just makes you look like you know nothing about pop culture – look, this may have been a fresh and new idea for a protagonist, like, twenty years ago, but right now emo kids are right up there with the common cold. (Top offenders: most books involving vampires; Scarlett in Ghost Girl. Averted in: Sucks to Be Me – as well as subverted with Raven, the vampire wanna-be who thinks she’s qualified just because she shops at Hot Topic.)


2. Conversely, wearing polo shirts and lots of pink does not make you a shallow, vapid idiot who looks down your nose at everyone. Sorry, but people just don’t fit into perfect little boxes just like that. (Top offenders: any book about “elite” cliques ever; most books involving vampires. Averted in: Just Listen; Peace, Love, and Baby Ducks; most likely Frankie in The Disreputable History of Frankie Laundau-Banks. Absolutely subverted in The Squad – FBI-backed cheerleaders!)


3. Chosen ones suck. I personally don’t believe in destiny – “you make your own dream,” as John Lennon might say. I’m sorry, but when a character MUST SUCCEED BECAUSE THEY ARE CHOSEN BY A GREAT PROPHECY (okay, I’ll quit it with the caps lock) it takes all the fun out of it. (Top offenders: Harry Potter – because it was (sparkle) PROPHECISED!; most YA fantasy. Averted in: the Young Wizards series – Nita and Kit chose to become wizards of their own free will. Completely, 110% subverted in: Un Lun Dun – never underestimate the power of the Plucky Comic Relief.)


4. If I see the words “Manolo Blahnik” in a book about middle school students one more time… (Top offenders: that horrible Clique series (shudder!); Gossip Girl imitations for kids too young to watch the show.)


5. “Oh, look, a book by a fifteen-year-old author! We’ll publish it because that’s a cool gimmick, despite that there’s no editorial work done whatsoever and it’s a blatant Lord of the Rings rip-off!” (Top offenders: do I even need to tell you?)


6. Books trying to ride the wave of Twilight’s success bug me more than Twilight does, and that’s saying a lot. The local Barnes and Noble is clogged with vampire/human romances… and let’s not even get into fairy/human, werewolf/human, pixie/human, vampire/vampire, vampire/werewolf… the sheer uncreativity of the teen market is mind-boggling. (Top offenders: Marked; Wicked Lovely; Need.)


7. Unrealistic books where the main character wins a competition and is thrown into the (sparkle) WILD WORLD OF SHOW BUSINESS! Which is dramatic and full of beautiful people! Like the heroine! Only she’s normal! Even though she really isn’t and these books are just made to have us raise our hopes of stardom, only to be crushed when we realize that LIFE ISN’T LITERATURE! Gag me. (Top offenders: Starlet; almost any book on this subject. Subverted, though still not successfully, in Secrets of my Hollywood Life, about a teen actress who decides to live as a “normal” high school student.)


8. Authors trying to write in Meg Cabot’s style. She’s got the gift of making her books both semi-cheesy and yet ridiculously fun (especially The Princess Diaries) – her imitators are just cheesy. Louise Rennison wanna-bes are pretty bad too. (Top offenders: British teen chick lit; LBD -worst. Book. Ever. Averted in: um, Meg Cabot and Louise Rennison.)


9. And since it seems I can’t go a blog post without going on a manga-related rant: the spells, oh my god, the long, awkwardly translated, always-seeming-to-include-the-word-dragon spells. Can’t they just, I dunno, snap their fingers or something? (That’s why flame alchemy is useful, you know – you don’t need to talk, so you can maintain your dark-tall-and-brooding character trope!)


10. One word: Twilight.

Becca's Book Review: Brisingr

In the elven language, brisingr means fire. It makes it the perfect title for Christopher Paolini’s third book in the Inheritence Series. With only one book left, Brisingr does an amazing job of getting you ready for the final battle between Eragon and Galbatorix. Let me first suggest that you read Eragon, and Eldest first. They provide a great foundation for this captivating work, but this review may spoil just a teensy bit if you haven’t yet read them.

We first find our hero Eragon, with his cousin Roran, pursuing their goal of rescuing Roran’s love, Katrina. Most everybody is familiar with Twilight, the teen romance with a little bit of action, well, Brisingr is an action tale, with a tiny bit of romance. And I mean tiny. We’re talking 3 chapters tops, in a 700+ page book.

Another huge deal is Eragon and Saphira (can’t forget the total bamf dragon) begin to fulfill their oaths, while making more, and more. Since the previous king was betrayed and killed by Murtagh, Eragon’s own brother (omigoodness!) a new dwarf king is elected, leading Eragon to plenty of danger in the underground kingdom.

Did you ever have to work with somebody you completely despised for your entire life? Well the humans of the Varden did. The ugly mofo Urgals joined up with the Varden in Eldest, and now we get to see how this combo plays out. *Hint, it involves bulky manly Roran vs big horned ugly guy. AHHHH!

Another important race is the elves. They have joined in the fight too, slicing and dicing through Galbatorix’s oath slaves. When Eragon returns to the Weldenvarden, the Cripple that is Whole, teaches him many things, like how Galbatorix gets his power (you’ll never guess hahaha) and how Eragon came into this world (not the gorey details). Saphira and Eragon battle the entire elven forest (bad idea) and Eragon visited a man he provided the most unthinkable punishment for (it’s so cool). Plus, reading this book will teach you, step by step how to make a Dragon Rider sword (not kidding).

If you haven’t already guessed, I think this book is AWESOME. All those sci-fi freaks and battle lovers will love this too. You may even love it if you’re neither, because it’s just that good.

~Becca C.

Teen Review: Cory's Hip Hop Recommendations, Pt. 1*

If you are more into rap music or hip hop than R&B then you may like artists like Lil Wayne, Fabolous, and Young Jeezy. They are very great artists and they create very good music and hits that people like to listen to over and over again. But there are more good artists that are being discovered every day like Gucci Mane, Drake, and Jamie Foxx. These are artists that make good hits too that people like to listen to over and over again. Gucci Mane is an artist that has been out for a while and he is a artist that people compare to other artists. Most people say that Lil Wayne is the best rapper alive but some say Gucci Mane is better than Lil Wayne.

*Thanks to teen reviewer, Cory, for writing this review. It was completed as part of our Fine Alternative Program, which allows teens to work down their fines at the library. Stop by and we'll tell you all about it!

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